Hia... Hua... Heea... DOH, you know the word! I'm going on a break!

Yeap, seeing how just about everyone else has done it now, its my turn to take a break. This one wont be for too long Insha'Allah (I can hear the groans now!). I wish I could spare you lovely blogistanis for longer, but for the time being I dont think I have the option. I think I'll be away for between 2-3 weeks.

As Yas bhai has pointed out, people are tired of reading stories and would like a proper update, since I have blogger's block right now.... all I'm gonna say is, I've bought the suit, the new shalwaar Kameez, all the bits to go along with both and am ready for whatever may come my way. I will insha'Allah be leaving on Tuesday, and depending on where I stay and how busy I get in the tons and tons of stuff I'll have to do, I may or may not be around blogistan. I was almost gonna forget to post this, but I was told I should do so by someone yesterday (you know who you are). Although I did contemplate the "oh by the way, guess where I am and what I'm doing" post... but realized that would be mean. So now you people have some bits and bobs to put the picture together!

Where am I going and what am I going for??? Well, I'll leave that one for you guys to figure out! ;-) Y'all take care Insha'Allah.

The Saga Continues - The Final Showdown!

Right, this is where the original story as written before comes to an end, if anyone wants, they can start a new one in the comment box... Anyways, I'd like to thank the people who contributed to the story and ofcourse to Sensei for the actual concept of the story! Now, without any further delays... the last part...


As the silvery liquid took the form of an average hijabi, complete with hijab, it said, “Why do you guys think the Agency disguised me as Arnold? I am a terminator after all.”

“But,” Usman sputtered, “Arnold the Terminator is a ghetto model, the kind with moving parts, not the liquid kind. That’s only in Termintor 2.”

“I know,” liquid Abez shrugged, “It was a minor oversight on the Agency’s part. They haven’t seen either movie.”

“Terminator or not,” Murali said, stepping closer to the secret agents, “None of you are leaving here alive!” Murali menacingly pointed a malicious-looking contraption in their direction.

“What is that?” Agent Ar-Cee asked, stifling a giggle. “It looks like a water gun with a toaster duct-taped to the barrel..”

“Or,” Agent X chortled, “Like someone was absent the day they handed out real weapons back in evil-agent school.”

“Don’t you laugh at this!” Murali growled, “This little number here is the child of years worth of weapons research and creative tinkering. Not only does it launch deadly Pakistani throwing-shoes, it also sprays tepid lemon squash with a Ph level so volatile that it’ll burn your skin right off! Nobody move!”

“Get back, everyone,” Abez said, gallantly stepping forward. “I’ll take care of this. So, Murali, we meet again. Though the last time we met, I think you were called Solid Snake.”

“That’s right,” Murali said slickly, “And you were Liquid Snake.”

“What on earth is going on?” Usman whispered.

“I think it has something to do with project Metal Gear Solid,” Agent X said, “Murali and Abez have been nemesisisisises…uh…enemies for years, but before that they were partners. Watch!”

The two former partners were now facing off, and the tension in the room was palpable.

“Put down your weapon Murali, the FOPS of the SSGM have been thwarted. There’s no future in it anymore,” Abez said, flexing her liquid muscles and shaping them into long, sharp pokey-things.
“FOPS?” Murali laughed, “I don’t care about the FOPS, I’m just here for you!”

“Me?” Abez said, “Why do you want to lemon-squash me?”

“Because you left half a cup of cold coffee on the computer table again. Do have any idea how irritating that is?”

“Hey, you’re the one who peels apples on the mouse pad! And you bleached one of my favorite shirts in the laundry last week!”

“So what? You haven’t even DONE the laundry this week!” (Abez)


“We have to stop them, or they’ll destroy everything!” Usman said, dodging a stream of deadly lemon-squash. It ate a hole in the cement wall that it struck behind him. In the mean time, Abez had unleashed her liquid pokey-things and what remained of the walls and ceiling was taking a beating. The building couldn’t hold up forever. The three agents, Usman, X, and Ar-Cee ran and took cover behind an overturned table

“We’ve got to do something!” Agent Usman yelled over the deafening crashes and hisses of walls being toppled and then burned with lemon squash.

“What?” Agent X yelled back, “Ar-Cee, do something!”

Yaz…err..Agent Ar-Cee tapped her forehead frantically, trying to wake up whatever part of her brain it was that came up with brilliant life-saving ideas. It took a few taps before it woke up, and then the imaginary light bulb went on over her head. “Aha!” She said, “I know!”

“Wait!” Agent Ex said, trying to stop Ar-Cee as she rushed out into the fray. “It’s too dangerous!”

“Watch this!” Agent Ar-Cee said, clambering up onto a pile of rubble. She cupped her hands over the mouth and turned in a roughly Western direction. She then drew a deep breath and called out, “MoooOOOOoooM!!!!!!! THEY’RE FIGHTING AGAIN!”

Instantly there was silence, Abez and Murali froze, and within seconds, the Western door to the ruined FOPS base burst open and there she stood, larger than life, Da Momma… (Abez)


Her over-permed, bleached, blonde hair stood out like a lion's mane and back lit,with the lights of the ruined building, shone like an angel's halo. DaMomma was the perfect balance between heaven on earth and the wild kingdom.


"Owl, Abez, I've told you a thousand times no fighting. Owl, put down that Lemon Squash before you put out someone's eye. Girls, is this any way for hijabis to act? I don't think so..."

The two most dangerous secret agents in the world hung their heads in shame. Momma was right, Momma's always right. "All right, all of you, grab brooms and start cleaning up this mess. It's not nice to turn death rays on other people's nice buildings. Besides, what harm did the SSGM ever do to you? Why some of my best friends are girlie men. Just last week Tony Danza and I were having lunch and he was giving me great tips on skin care."

With humble hearts and bowed heads the agents did as they were told. After all, daMomma was right again.

"The North Korean embassy called and wants me to arrange negotiations to end the nuke stand off with America. I'm going to need all your help on this assignment. The Nk's don't know that I know their plans to dismantle their reactors, wrap the uranium in cabbage leaves, bottle it as Kimchee and then, reassemble it later when the US has signed a non-aggression treaty. So, kid's you see we have our work cut out for us. Let's clean up here, go to my house for chilli and german chocolate cake and I'll give you your mission briefings."

And so, with the promise of daMomma's home-made cake motivating them, the clean up was quickly effected, Owl and Abez made up, and agents Usman, X-Caliber, and Ar-Cee were ready once again to save the world from itself. (Abez/Aniraz’s Momma)
THE END! (phew!)

The Saga Continues - Yep.. still!!

Hmmm, not a huge audience to the story but oh well... cant be helped. To those of you lovely people who wish to be included, I'd love to, but unfortunately this story was written a coupla months ago and I dont wanna edit it. Although having said that, there's nothing to stop us doing a continuation of the story seeing this one did basically continue from where an unsavoury character named Usman was caught trying to take over the world with his Icecream Island. (sorry to all who missed that). Anyways, on with the show!!


Agent Ar-Cee tapped twice on the super-small supercomputer located in the ear-piece concealed beneath her scarf. It made a quiet sound of electronic agreement (blip!) and began trying to triangulate the whereabouts of Agents X-Caliber, Usman, and Abez. She then sighed and ate four candy bars, none of which were actual candy bars, all of which were chocolate-covered mission briefings that failed to self-destruct after delivery.

Sometime after the last mission briefing had been licked, she received a quiet alert from the computer that the three missing agents had been located and their GPS coordinates were coming in. They appeared to be in London.

Ar-Cee (which had originally stood for R-C, Rebel-Child) threw her backpack over her shoulder and wondered idly whether or not she had time to pick up agent Cee-Bee (C-B, Choco-Bean) on the way to London, but it was 2 am Eastern Pacific time, and Cee-Bee might not be available at the moment. So Ar-Cee set off on her own.

(skip the direct flight to London and some action-adventure chase scenes in which Agent Ar-Cee skillfully eludes three FOPS on a pink vespa, and head directly to that scene where the bad guy reveals all his plans before trying to kill the captured secret Agents)

“Ha ha ha!” The head FOP laughed as he menacingly fingered the ‘on’ button for the giant death-ray that the three secret agents had been strapped beneath (on individual tables, of course). “I’ve got you now, and very soon you will all be fried. This will teach The Agency to mess with the FOPS of the SSGM! Mwahahaaa!”

“Oh nuts,” Abez muttered, shaking her head as best she could in the straps that held her down. “I knew I should never have agreed to inflatable muscles. I told them they were better off filled with chocolate pudding, but no one would listen to me.”

“Yes,” the head FOP sneered, “It was all given away rather nicely when you stepped on the toes of “De Caprio,” and he didn’t even squeal! A true girly man would have died if a 250-lb Austrian squashed their toes! Tee hee!”

“Don’t worry Abez, it’s not your fault we’re all about to die a grisly death. I forgive you.” Usman said.

“Yeah, me too,” X-Caliber sniffed, “And if we don’t get through this, I want you both to know that…sniff…I’ll never forget you guys!”

“And I want you guys to know,” Abez said tearily, “That you guys kept really interesting blogs…”

“And I want you guys to know,” Usman bawled, “That the straps on this table-of-doom are way too tight and I can’t feel my knees!”

“Ah,” the head FOP said, wiping his eyes. “Mascara gets in your eye sometimes. Well, back to frying you guys…one…two…R (Abez)


Wait, I'm getting an important call, excuse gentlemen. The EvilFOB powers down the death ray and steps out of the room. Without wasting a second our trio spring (figurtively) into action.
Phhhst. Abez deflates her inflatable muscle implants. Hey guys, I can move my arms.
Grab my man-lipstick says Agent Usman, it's in my shirt pocket.
I've got it whipers Abez.

Usman- Quick,shine it onto my arms straps. Buzzzzz-sizzle-pop. With one hand free, Agent Usman releases his other straps and is about to release his team when EvilFob returns!!!

Evil- What, you fools think you can get awa...

He is cut short by a Pakistani Throwing shoe to the temple launched by our quick thinking and great shoe kicking Agent X. Our trio them makes good their escape from the tables.

Abez- Turn the death ray on their main computer banks. It will wipe out their data base of SSGM mailing lists. It will take them years to recover the lost data.
X-Brilliant. Oh Abez, you are truely a genius.

Abez-We can't have all the men in the world challenging the natural order of society. We women want our men to kill spiders, give us their paychecks and assemble furniture from Ikea.

The death ray is aimed and they run for saftey, but....... (Abez/Aniraz’s Momma)


The structural integrity of the secret FOPS base gave way under the laser’s blast and the ceiling came crashing down. And then all was silent.

A few hours passed, and then a few more. Just when Agent Usman was starting to wonder whether or not he should attempt to free himself from the debris, he heard footsteps come crunching towards him.

“Hello?” he said nervously, coughing a little on the plaster dust, “Is anyone there?”

He heard suspiciously familiar munching and squirmed to see where it was coming from. “Yaz!” he exclaimed happily, “How did you get here?”

“Hey,” Yaz said, “Look, I’m Agent Ar-Cee, remember? I’m here to rescue you. Everything ok?”

“Great!” Usman said sincerely, “First there was this death-ray thingie and then we were gonna get fried but then we escaped and then the laser went off and it was like whoa the ceiling collapsed and now there’s plaster dust in my nose...and hey, what are you eating, I’m starved.”

“Mission briefing,” Ar-Cee said. “You want one?”

“Not if eating it means that I accept the mission,” Usman said earnestly.

“Hey, where are Agent X and Abez?” Yaz asked.

“Oh!” Usman wailed, “Neither of them have made a sound…God, I hope they’re not…gulp…dead!”

Agent Ar-Cee picked her way carefully through the debris and made her way to Agent X’s table. She poked the plastered log carefully with a stick. Nothing happened. She poked harder, and then it sneezed.

“What’s the big idea!” Agent X exclaimed while trying to clear his nose of plaster dust, “I was sleeping here!” Yaz pulled away some of the debris that was pinning Agents X and Usman in place, and then directed her attention to the overturned table that Abez appeared to be trapped beneath.

“I don’t know about this,” Agent X-said, standing up and dusting himself off. “What if she’s dead? What if we lift the table and there’s nothing but squashy, ex-hijabi goo underneath…I feel sick…” (Abez)


Agents Usman and eX began sifting through the rubble as agent Ar-Cee went through another chocolate and french fry flavoured briefing. "At this rate.." agent Ar-Cee thought to herself, "I'll probably weigh a ton by the end of my Agent career.... which isnt soo bad, seeing as my work is all soo sweet". Ar-Cee's chain of thoughts was broken by a shadowy figure resembling Agent Abez standing in the doorway. "Abez, you're ok!!!" shreiked Agent eX as the trio turned to face the murky figure in the doorway. The silhouette stepped out of the shadows to reveal herself as Murali. "Gawd you have a knack for turning up at the wierdest times" Ar-Cee found she had blurted out her thoughts.

"How come you looked exactly like Agent Abez?" a puzzled Agent Usman inquired. "Are the rumours in AgentLand that you and Abez are one and the same true???" (This rumour had been going around for quite some time and had baffled many as to the true identity of Agents Abez and Murali)

"Pish tosh" replied Murali, "it's all nonesense what you hear!". On further queries from the trio Murali simply replied "I don't wanna say nuttin. No no no no no. You can't make me."

"Ewwwwwww" Agent Usman exclaimed with horror and the feeling of grossness you get when you see someone swallow a chipkali. "Whass this gooo under my shoes?". "Oh would you stop whining like a girl Usman!!!" roared Agent eX. "I was just trying to stay in character man!",Usman muttered. "I see some goo here too" chipped in Ar-Cee.

A strange voice called out in the dimly lit room "Would you blockheads shut up and get off my foot". The three agents froze in horror as they saw the liquid all come together right before their very eyes and morph into the form of Agent Abez... (Usman)

The Saga Continues - Part II

Agents Usman and X clunk across the street in their Paksitani Throwing Shoes to meet the undercover agent who will take them to tonight's SSGM meeting.

U- Hey X, how will we know the undercover agent. We didn't get a name or a description before the Super was knocked out cold.

X- Oh chillax, U-man. He'll find us. Just order an us the official drink of the SSGM, a Diet Latte with Non-fat Cream and Sweet & Low.

U- Ohmygaud,X, don't look now, but Arnold Swazzinagger is staring at us! He's coming over now!

Arnold- Hey guys, may I join you for a Diet Latte with Non-fat cream and Sweet & Low? Hey, great shoes, I saw some just like them in Islamabad! *whispers* Hey, it's me Agent Abez. The agency gave me testosterone shots, temporary cosmetic surgery (the latest thing) and inflatable muscle implants so I could pass as Arnold and infiltrate the SSGM.

U-But Arnold isn't a girlie man. He's the terminator!

Arnold/Abez- That's the point. The SSGM will be so busy wondering why Arnold is at an SSGM meeting, that they won't have any brain power left to realize I'm a fake Arnold. It's the Victor/Victoria distraction thing. A woman playing a maucho man who's really a girlie man.

X- Well, it's a great disquise!

Abez- Yeh, you wouldn't know I have on a hijab under this blond wig.
U- Well, the meeting's tonight. Let's finish up these lattes and get going.

Abez- First I have to pray Asr. Which way is kibla?

X-Straight towards the muffins. I'll "accidentally" drop these coffee stirrers and you can pretend to pick them up one by one as you go into sujda.

Abez- Great, that gives us 6 hours to save the world. Then I have to say Isha and get home in respect to my parentally imposed curfew. Gotta love those contientious parents!

And out storms our couragous trio; Leonardo, Justin and Arnold! (Abez/Aniraz’s Momma)


Abez (in the guise of Schwartznager)led her girlish associates outside the cafe and stood to call a cab. Many passed her by before Agent Excalibur cleared his throat, his right eyebrow arched in amusement, and said "Shall I show you how it's done?"

"Hmph!" Abez muttered, "This has never happened before. Why won't they stop?"

Agent Usman looked at the 6'something, 250lb, blonde, tanned-to-death aging body builder that was Abez and sheepishly offered, "Well, it could have something to do with the fact that you weigh more than the average British taxi. It's a matter of physics."

"But these muscles are inflatable!" she spluttered.

Agent X daintily stepped past Abez, coughed slightly and raised a pantleg, exposing a suspiciously hairless leg. He then pointed his toe gracefully in the direction of traffic. Five taxis came to a screeching halt.

"That, my clueless peers, is how it's done," Agent Excalibur said as he stepped into the cab.

"Well, I'd like to see you do that without the help of your manlipstick. But I'll leave that for another time," Abez said in her excellent Austrian accent. "Cabbie, to the ballet and on the double!" (Aniraz)


"Oooh, is this like in the movies??" cooed the hyper active taxi driver and with the all-too-common screeching of taxi tyres the trio were off. "Hmmm, interesting choice of songs... Shania twain's 'man i feel like a woman'", agent Usman thought to himself, listenning to the swanky country music playing in the taxi.

It had been less than a few moments into the journey when Agent X realized there was something wrong and it definitely wasnt the shade of his mascara!! "Driver, are you sure you're going the right way?? This doesnt seem to be the way to ...", and before he had even finished the sentence, the driver had shoved a shiny slignshot in Agent X's face. "Say one more thing u peeegs and the cute one gets a 2 month old vegetable launched at his temple". Agent Abez kicked herself when it dawned on her she hadnt noticed the simplest of clues "I should've known something was wrong when i read Muralitharan on the side of the taxi!!"

By this point Agent Usman, trying his best to keep a girlie man's voice, was hanging halfway out of the window with his high heels wedged under the seats, shrieking out at the top of his lungs.... (Usman)


"Relax, Relax!," Muralitharan aka Aniraz said, lowering the slingshot slightly. "Arnold," s/he said, "Pull that silly De Caprio back inside the window. I was just checking to make sure you weren't imposters. De Caprio's shrieking just now convinced me that you were genuine FOPS of the SSGM. No self-respecting manly man would scream like that!"

"No, they wouldn't," Agent X-Caliber said, glaring at Usman's lower half as he tried to pull it back inside of the cab.
"Murali," Arnold said in his/her best girly voice, "You know you can traast me, what's with the sleengshot? Timberlake and I have been faithful FOPS for yeers now, our good standing alone should be enough to admit De Caprio wissout doubting him."

"Fine," Murali said. "But I'll have to take you to the boss first. There's no way you'll get into the meeting without meeting him first.”

Arnold, Usman and X exchanged covert and nervous looks. The remainder of the trip passed in uneasy silence. Murali drove, Arnold flexed, X-Caliber touched up his mascara and Usman fidgeted. Finally, the taxi slowed and stopped. They had arrived at… (Abez)


They had arrived at one of the many secret FOP bases, which are always situated in the middle of somewhere, nowhere. Two big girly-men guards stood in front of the pink doors each holding a lethal pigeon feather.
"You guys n gals wait here" murali, said as s/he went up to the guards.
Agent-U whispers to Agent X "X whats going on?" but Agent X was busy humming "cry me a river.."

Meanwhile as murali walked upto the guards, they automtically stood in front of the door. "Halt! in the name of the big girly man!" they both said in their girly voice.
"relax boys.." murali said always cool as usual, and took out his pigeon feather and held it in front of the guards. *silence in the air you could almost smell it* and suddenly murali and the three guards are jumping around, hands in the air holding thier feathers and waving thier arms around silly. and screaming "BAANOOWAAA KAANOOOWAAA BANOOWAA KANOOWAA"

agent U's jaw was about to drop to the floor if it werent for Arnold/Abez quick reflexes. Arnold: "Hasta la Vista de-caprio! oh!ehhh i mean relax baby, its just the secret banuwa kanuwa fob dance"

agent U: "ohhh..." agent X: "..mmm cry me a river..hummm mmm"
the dancing and screaming came to an abrupt end after a few seconds and the pink doors were opened... murali looked back above his shoulder with a wicked smile and nodded for the three to follow....

they stepped into a long corridor full of mirrors and pink lights....
Agent U: "oooooohhhhhhh............" (eX)

The Story!!!

Ok, here it is.. the whackiest story i've ever read.. I've spread it over 4 parts. Some of you will obviously have read this before as and when it was being written and hence, will know the pretexts from which some of the twists in the story come from. To those who dont, well, I'd have to mention 5 or 6 different blogs with 20 odd enteries to understand the whole thing, so we wont go there. This story was a spin-off of the original sis Abez graciously agreed to do for me, which is why she is the one who started this one. Oh and by the way, at the end of a paragraph or section, the name of the person who wrote that section is written so everyone gets proper credit!


The Saga Continues

"The well-dressed man with the dark moustache cleared his throat and adjusted his tie. “Ahem,” he said in perfect Oxford Compulsory, “Agent Usman, are you listening to me?”

Secret Agent Usman, who had been pushing an eraser around his desk and making vroom vroom noises, looked up and quickly said, “Of course chief, inasmuch as which, current situation notwithstanding and all that, wherein that, etcetera etcetera-“

The supervisor sighed and redirected his laser pointer to the diagram on the wall. “Current events notwithstanding, Agent Usman, your attention is needed. You only have one chance to prove yourself, and if you fail, you will be jailed for life as reprobate ice-cream thief.”

Usman sat up eagerly at the mention of ice cream. Ah yes, he remembered now, he had finally been caught and convicted as an ice cream thief, but the M-16, on recommendation of Agent Shadanov Killalotski (currently on religious leave), had given Usman the chance to redeem himself and turn his nefarious skills to good by becoming an agent himself.

So far things hadn’t been going very well. His plush office had been sealed, his limousine confiscated, and on top of that, his secretary, Ms.Sahar, had died. (again) He had been promised a souped-up,secret-agent-mobile, but so far he had seen nothing but an angry supervisor and a cute pink erasor, which looked reasonably like a mini cooper. Therefore, vroom vroom.

Usman parked the eraser and turned to face the supervisor, squaring his shoulders and doing his best to seem interested, competent, and not hungry. “Correct if I’m wrong chief…” Usman began, “But you said I would be given the opportunity to prove myself, and you said I would be given all the tools necessary to do so. So far you have given me nothing, not even a decent mission briefing.”

“Very well then,” the supervisor said, pointing to the diagram in front of him. “ Your mission, should you choose to accept, is…” (Abez)


"Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to infiltrate the Secret Society of Girlie Men. Your guise will be that of," and here his supervisor twittered slightly, "Leonoardo DeCaprio."

Upon hearing these words Agent Usman let out a horrible scream and began to gnash his teeth and try to pull at his well-gheeed hair.

He calmed himself and struggled with his response. "But sir..." (Aniraz)

"No Buts Agent Usman... We've given you your new identity as Mr. DeCaprio and you have a man already working on the inside. He goes by the name of Timberlake, Justin Timberlake..."

Agent Usman without thinking (which he often did) blurted out, "but how can this man have the same first name and the same surname??"

The Supervisor sighed at the uselessness of the situation and decided Agent Usman had to be...." (Usman)


...rubbed out!" the Supervisor thought, and then chided himself for wishful thinking. He cleared his throat and went back to business. "There is no way around it Agent Usman. You are now the girly-man De Caprio, an up and coming fop in the illegal and insidious world of FOPS."

"FOPS?" Usman asked, "What does FOPS stand for?"

"Fruity Operations (for)(Re-) Programming Society. They're a secret league of girly-men who infiltrate positions of power and influence in the hopes of changing society's perceptions of masculinity, and by doing so, they hope to get out of doing all their time-honored chores, like taking out the trash, brinding home the bacon, and squashing spiders."

"Oh boy..." Usman muttered, himself a rather manly-man, though he had been unsuccessful in the past when it came to squashing spiders. There was this one incident with a high-heel...

"Mr. De Caprio," the supervisor said, "Here are your tools. This expensive man-lipstick is not what it seems, it's actually a high-powered laser. Use it with caution."

"And this scary-looking black tube?" Usman asked.

"Ah, this," the supervisor said, "Contains a chemical compound to enhance your sight. It won't give you X-ray vision (we're out of that stuff) but you will develop the nightvision of a cat."

"How do I use it?"

"Oh, there's a mascara wand inside, but on to the next item..." (Abez)

"Oh, there's a mascara wand inside, but on to the next item," the Supervisor said, "Though I think that Secret Agent X-caliber might be better at explaining it."

"Secret Agent X-caliber?" Usman echoed a little nervously. The name sounded somewhat intimidating.

“Yes,” a voice said from a shadow in a corner of the briefing room, “Secret Agent X, X-caliber.”

“Aaak!” Usman said, jumping vertically out of his chair, “How did you get in here?”

Secret Agent X stepped out of the shadows and shrugged, “Through the door. I’ve been waiting for my cue for at least half an hour. I’m starved, hey Super, where are the doughnuts?”

“Wait,” Usman said, “I’ve seen you before. Walking alone through the Swiss Alps, munching Toblerone and wearing leiderhosen in a distinctly girly way…”

“Yes, I was on my way to a secret conference of FOPS.”

“You’re undercover as Justin ‘Shiver-me-Timbers’ Lake!” Usman exclaimed, and then looking down to Agent X’s feet said, “Wow man, those high-heels really don’t go with your suit.”

“I know,” Agent X shrugged, “But they’re not ordinary high-heels. They’re deadly Pakistani Throwing-Shoes, one swift throw to the side of the head will instantly immobilize a man up to 6-feet, 200 pounds. Anyone bigger or heavier than that will just be stunned will feelings of shame and inadequacy. Here’s your pair.”

Usman took one of the throwing shoes and gave it a casual toss. Instantly he was jerked down to the floor by an angry-looking Agent-X who muttered un-nice things at Usman while the throwing shoe whizzed lethally around the room above their heads. Suddenly there was a loud thump and the whizzing ceased. “Not again,” Agent X muttered…

Usman stood up and looked towards the Supervisor was standing, or rather, where he HAD been standing before the deadly throwing shoe had caught him squarely between the eyes. “Oh my God!” Usman squeaked, “Did I kill him?”

“No,” Agent X said mournfully, “He’s one centimeter over the six-foot mark, and using my secret spy-sense to locate the whereabouts of the doughnuts that are supposed to be at every briefing, I’d say he’s over the 200 pound mark too. He’ll wake up feeling really shoddy though, and he’ll phone him mummy straightaway to apologize.”

“Apologize for what?”

“He won’t really know. It’s a side-effect of being hit with the shoe. Let’s get out of here before he wakes up. Come on, I’ll take you to the spy-mobile.” (Abez)

RUN!!!

Right, Apologies for not posting in over a month (thanks to Jaded for pointing that out!! :-p) I'm still not gonna post right now.. It's past 2 in the night man!! Anyways, just wanted to ask you guys if I should post that whack story from a couple of months ago.. cuz it's LONG (12 pages on word to be exact!). Or should I do a 3 part series kinda thing??? Let your voice be heard people!