The Saga Continues - Part II
Agents Usman and X clunk across the street in their Paksitani Throwing Shoes to meet the undercover agent who will take them to tonight's SSGM meeting.
U- Hey X, how will we know the undercover agent. We didn't get a name or a description before the Super was knocked out cold.
X- Oh chillax, U-man. He'll find us. Just order an us the official drink of the SSGM, a Diet Latte with Non-fat Cream and Sweet & Low.
U- Ohmygaud,X, don't look now, but Arnold Swazzinagger is staring at us! He's coming over now!
Arnold- Hey guys, may I join you for a Diet Latte with Non-fat cream and Sweet & Low? Hey, great shoes, I saw some just like them in Islamabad! *whispers* Hey, it's me Agent Abez. The agency gave me testosterone shots, temporary cosmetic surgery (the latest thing) and inflatable muscle implants so I could pass as Arnold and infiltrate the SSGM.
U-But Arnold isn't a girlie man. He's the terminator!
Arnold/Abez- That's the point. The SSGM will be so busy wondering why Arnold is at an SSGM meeting, that they won't have any brain power left to realize I'm a fake Arnold. It's the Victor/Victoria distraction thing. A woman playing a maucho man who's really a girlie man.
X- Well, it's a great disquise!
Abez- Yeh, you wouldn't know I have on a hijab under this blond wig.
U- Well, the meeting's tonight. Let's finish up these lattes and get going.
Abez- First I have to pray Asr. Which way is kibla?
X-Straight towards the muffins. I'll "accidentally" drop these coffee stirrers and you can pretend to pick them up one by one as you go into sujda.
Abez- Great, that gives us 6 hours to save the world. Then I have to say Isha and get home in respect to my parentally imposed curfew. Gotta love those contientious parents!
And out storms our couragous trio; Leonardo, Justin and Arnold! (Abez/Aniraz’s Momma)
Abez (in the guise of Schwartznager)led her girlish associates outside the cafe and stood to call a cab. Many passed her by before Agent Excalibur cleared his throat, his right eyebrow arched in amusement, and said "Shall I show you how it's done?"
"Hmph!" Abez muttered, "This has never happened before. Why won't they stop?"
Agent Usman looked at the 6'something, 250lb, blonde, tanned-to-death aging body builder that was Abez and sheepishly offered, "Well, it could have something to do with the fact that you weigh more than the average British taxi. It's a matter of physics."
"But these muscles are inflatable!" she spluttered.
Agent X daintily stepped past Abez, coughed slightly and raised a pantleg, exposing a suspiciously hairless leg. He then pointed his toe gracefully in the direction of traffic. Five taxis came to a screeching halt.
"That, my clueless peers, is how it's done," Agent Excalibur said as he stepped into the cab.
"Well, I'd like to see you do that without the help of your manlipstick. But I'll leave that for another time," Abez said in her excellent Austrian accent. "Cabbie, to the ballet and on the double!" (Aniraz)
"Oooh, is this like in the movies??" cooed the hyper active taxi driver and with the all-too-common screeching of taxi tyres the trio were off. "Hmmm, interesting choice of songs... Shania twain's 'man i feel like a woman'", agent Usman thought to himself, listenning to the swanky country music playing in the taxi.
It had been less than a few moments into the journey when Agent X realized there was something wrong and it definitely wasnt the shade of his mascara!! "Driver, are you sure you're going the right way?? This doesnt seem to be the way to ...", and before he had even finished the sentence, the driver had shoved a shiny slignshot in Agent X's face. "Say one more thing u peeegs and the cute one gets a 2 month old vegetable launched at his temple". Agent Abez kicked herself when it dawned on her she hadnt noticed the simplest of clues "I should've known something was wrong when i read Muralitharan on the side of the taxi!!"
By this point Agent Usman, trying his best to keep a girlie man's voice, was hanging halfway out of the window with his high heels wedged under the seats, shrieking out at the top of his lungs.... (Usman)
"Relax, Relax!," Muralitharan aka Aniraz said, lowering the slingshot slightly. "Arnold," s/he said, "Pull that silly De Caprio back inside the window. I was just checking to make sure you weren't imposters. De Caprio's shrieking just now convinced me that you were genuine FOPS of the SSGM. No self-respecting manly man would scream like that!"
"No, they wouldn't," Agent X-Caliber said, glaring at Usman's lower half as he tried to pull it back inside of the cab.
"Murali," Arnold said in his/her best girly voice, "You know you can traast me, what's with the sleengshot? Timberlake and I have been faithful FOPS for yeers now, our good standing alone should be enough to admit De Caprio wissout doubting him."
"Fine," Murali said. "But I'll have to take you to the boss first. There's no way you'll get into the meeting without meeting him first.”
Arnold, Usman and X exchanged covert and nervous looks. The remainder of the trip passed in uneasy silence. Murali drove, Arnold flexed, X-Caliber touched up his mascara and Usman fidgeted. Finally, the taxi slowed and stopped. They had arrived at… (Abez)
They had arrived at one of the many secret FOP bases, which are always situated in the middle of somewhere, nowhere. Two big girly-men guards stood in front of the pink doors each holding a lethal pigeon feather.
"You guys n gals wait here" murali, said as s/he went up to the guards.
Agent-U whispers to Agent X "X whats going on?" but Agent X was busy humming "cry me a river.."
Meanwhile as murali walked upto the guards, they automtically stood in front of the door. "Halt! in the name of the big girly man!" they both said in their girly voice.
"relax boys.." murali said always cool as usual, and took out his pigeon feather and held it in front of the guards. *silence in the air you could almost smell it* and suddenly murali and the three guards are jumping around, hands in the air holding thier feathers and waving thier arms around silly. and screaming "BAANOOWAAA KAANOOOWAAA BANOOWAA KANOOWAA"
agent U's jaw was about to drop to the floor if it werent for Arnold/Abez quick reflexes. Arnold: "Hasta la Vista de-caprio! oh!ehhh i mean relax baby, its just the secret banuwa kanuwa fob dance"
agent U: "ohhh..." agent X: "..mmm cry me a river..hummm mmm"
the dancing and screaming came to an abrupt end after a few seconds and the pink doors were opened... murali looked back above his shoulder with a wicked smile and nodded for the three to follow....
they stepped into a long corridor full of mirrors and pink lights....
Agent U: "oooooohhhhhhh............" (eX)
Agents Usman and X clunk across the street in their Paksitani Throwing Shoes to meet the undercover agent who will take them to tonight's SSGM meeting.
U- Hey X, how will we know the undercover agent. We didn't get a name or a description before the Super was knocked out cold.
X- Oh chillax, U-man. He'll find us. Just order an us the official drink of the SSGM, a Diet Latte with Non-fat Cream and Sweet & Low.
U- Ohmygaud,X, don't look now, but Arnold Swazzinagger is staring at us! He's coming over now!
Arnold- Hey guys, may I join you for a Diet Latte with Non-fat cream and Sweet & Low? Hey, great shoes, I saw some just like them in Islamabad! *whispers* Hey, it's me Agent Abez. The agency gave me testosterone shots, temporary cosmetic surgery (the latest thing) and inflatable muscle implants so I could pass as Arnold and infiltrate the SSGM.
U-But Arnold isn't a girlie man. He's the terminator!
Arnold/Abez- That's the point. The SSGM will be so busy wondering why Arnold is at an SSGM meeting, that they won't have any brain power left to realize I'm a fake Arnold. It's the Victor/Victoria distraction thing. A woman playing a maucho man who's really a girlie man.
X- Well, it's a great disquise!
Abez- Yeh, you wouldn't know I have on a hijab under this blond wig.
U- Well, the meeting's tonight. Let's finish up these lattes and get going.
Abez- First I have to pray Asr. Which way is kibla?
X-Straight towards the muffins. I'll "accidentally" drop these coffee stirrers and you can pretend to pick them up one by one as you go into sujda.
Abez- Great, that gives us 6 hours to save the world. Then I have to say Isha and get home in respect to my parentally imposed curfew. Gotta love those contientious parents!
And out storms our couragous trio; Leonardo, Justin and Arnold! (Abez/Aniraz’s Momma)
Abez (in the guise of Schwartznager)led her girlish associates outside the cafe and stood to call a cab. Many passed her by before Agent Excalibur cleared his throat, his right eyebrow arched in amusement, and said "Shall I show you how it's done?"
"Hmph!" Abez muttered, "This has never happened before. Why won't they stop?"
Agent Usman looked at the 6'something, 250lb, blonde, tanned-to-death aging body builder that was Abez and sheepishly offered, "Well, it could have something to do with the fact that you weigh more than the average British taxi. It's a matter of physics."
"But these muscles are inflatable!" she spluttered.
Agent X daintily stepped past Abez, coughed slightly and raised a pantleg, exposing a suspiciously hairless leg. He then pointed his toe gracefully in the direction of traffic. Five taxis came to a screeching halt.
"That, my clueless peers, is how it's done," Agent Excalibur said as he stepped into the cab.
"Well, I'd like to see you do that without the help of your manlipstick. But I'll leave that for another time," Abez said in her excellent Austrian accent. "Cabbie, to the ballet and on the double!" (Aniraz)
"Oooh, is this like in the movies??" cooed the hyper active taxi driver and with the all-too-common screeching of taxi tyres the trio were off. "Hmmm, interesting choice of songs... Shania twain's 'man i feel like a woman'", agent Usman thought to himself, listenning to the swanky country music playing in the taxi.
It had been less than a few moments into the journey when Agent X realized there was something wrong and it definitely wasnt the shade of his mascara!! "Driver, are you sure you're going the right way?? This doesnt seem to be the way to ...", and before he had even finished the sentence, the driver had shoved a shiny slignshot in Agent X's face. "Say one more thing u peeegs and the cute one gets a 2 month old vegetable launched at his temple". Agent Abez kicked herself when it dawned on her she hadnt noticed the simplest of clues "I should've known something was wrong when i read Muralitharan on the side of the taxi!!"
By this point Agent Usman, trying his best to keep a girlie man's voice, was hanging halfway out of the window with his high heels wedged under the seats, shrieking out at the top of his lungs.... (Usman)
"Relax, Relax!," Muralitharan aka Aniraz said, lowering the slingshot slightly. "Arnold," s/he said, "Pull that silly De Caprio back inside the window. I was just checking to make sure you weren't imposters. De Caprio's shrieking just now convinced me that you were genuine FOPS of the SSGM. No self-respecting manly man would scream like that!"
"No, they wouldn't," Agent X-Caliber said, glaring at Usman's lower half as he tried to pull it back inside of the cab.
"Murali," Arnold said in his/her best girly voice, "You know you can traast me, what's with the sleengshot? Timberlake and I have been faithful FOPS for yeers now, our good standing alone should be enough to admit De Caprio wissout doubting him."
"Fine," Murali said. "But I'll have to take you to the boss first. There's no way you'll get into the meeting without meeting him first.”
Arnold, Usman and X exchanged covert and nervous looks. The remainder of the trip passed in uneasy silence. Murali drove, Arnold flexed, X-Caliber touched up his mascara and Usman fidgeted. Finally, the taxi slowed and stopped. They had arrived at… (Abez)
They had arrived at one of the many secret FOP bases, which are always situated in the middle of somewhere, nowhere. Two big girly-men guards stood in front of the pink doors each holding a lethal pigeon feather.
"You guys n gals wait here" murali, said as s/he went up to the guards.
Agent-U whispers to Agent X "X whats going on?" but Agent X was busy humming "cry me a river.."
Meanwhile as murali walked upto the guards, they automtically stood in front of the door. "Halt! in the name of the big girly man!" they both said in their girly voice.
"relax boys.." murali said always cool as usual, and took out his pigeon feather and held it in front of the guards. *silence in the air you could almost smell it* and suddenly murali and the three guards are jumping around, hands in the air holding thier feathers and waving thier arms around silly. and screaming "BAANOOWAAA KAANOOOWAAA BANOOWAA KANOOWAA"
agent U's jaw was about to drop to the floor if it werent for Arnold/Abez quick reflexes. Arnold: "Hasta la Vista de-caprio! oh!ehhh i mean relax baby, its just the secret banuwa kanuwa fob dance"
agent U: "ohhh..." agent X: "..mmm cry me a river..hummm mmm"
the dancing and screaming came to an abrupt end after a few seconds and the pink doors were opened... murali looked back above his shoulder with a wicked smile and nodded for the three to follow....
they stepped into a long corridor full of mirrors and pink lights....
Agent U: "oooooohhhhhhh............" (eX)
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