The Saga Continues - Yep.. still!!
Hmmm, not a huge audience to the story but oh well... cant be helped. To those of you lovely people who wish to be included, I'd love to, but unfortunately this story was written a coupla months ago and I dont wanna edit it. Although having said that, there's nothing to stop us doing a continuation of the story seeing this one did basically continue from where an unsavoury character named Usman was caught trying to take over the world with his Icecream Island. (sorry to all who missed that). Anyways, on with the show!!
Agent Ar-Cee tapped twice on the super-small supercomputer located in the ear-piece concealed beneath her scarf. It made a quiet sound of electronic agreement (blip!) and began trying to triangulate the whereabouts of Agents X-Caliber, Usman, and Abez. She then sighed and ate four candy bars, none of which were actual candy bars, all of which were chocolate-covered mission briefings that failed to self-destruct after delivery.
Sometime after the last mission briefing had been licked, she received a quiet alert from the computer that the three missing agents had been located and their GPS coordinates were coming in. They appeared to be in London.
Ar-Cee (which had originally stood for R-C, Rebel-Child) threw her backpack over her shoulder and wondered idly whether or not she had time to pick up agent Cee-Bee (C-B, Choco-Bean) on the way to London, but it was 2 am Eastern Pacific time, and Cee-Bee might not be available at the moment. So Ar-Cee set off on her own.
(skip the direct flight to London and some action-adventure chase scenes in which Agent Ar-Cee skillfully eludes three FOPS on a pink vespa, and head directly to that scene where the bad guy reveals all his plans before trying to kill the captured secret Agents)
“Ha ha ha!” The head FOP laughed as he menacingly fingered the ‘on’ button for the giant death-ray that the three secret agents had been strapped beneath (on individual tables, of course). “I’ve got you now, and very soon you will all be fried. This will teach The Agency to mess with the FOPS of the SSGM! Mwahahaaa!”
“Oh nuts,” Abez muttered, shaking her head as best she could in the straps that held her down. “I knew I should never have agreed to inflatable muscles. I told them they were better off filled with chocolate pudding, but no one would listen to me.”
“Yes,” the head FOP sneered, “It was all given away rather nicely when you stepped on the toes of “De Caprio,” and he didn’t even squeal! A true girly man would have died if a 250-lb Austrian squashed their toes! Tee hee!”
“Don’t worry Abez, it’s not your fault we’re all about to die a grisly death. I forgive you.” Usman said.
“Yeah, me too,” X-Caliber sniffed, “And if we don’t get through this, I want you both to know that…sniff…I’ll never forget you guys!”
“And I want you guys to know,” Abez said tearily, “That you guys kept really interesting blogs…”
“And I want you guys to know,” Usman bawled, “That the straps on this table-of-doom are way too tight and I can’t feel my knees!”
“Ah,” the head FOP said, wiping his eyes. “Mascara gets in your eye sometimes. Well, back to frying you guys…one…two…R (Abez)
Wait, I'm getting an important call, excuse gentlemen. The EvilFOB powers down the death ray and steps out of the room. Without wasting a second our trio spring (figurtively) into action.
Phhhst. Abez deflates her inflatable muscle implants. Hey guys, I can move my arms.
Grab my man-lipstick says Agent Usman, it's in my shirt pocket.
I've got it whipers Abez.
Usman- Quick,shine it onto my arms straps. Buzzzzz-sizzle-pop. With one hand free, Agent Usman releases his other straps and is about to release his team when EvilFob returns!!!
Evil- What, you fools think you can get awa...
He is cut short by a Pakistani Throwing shoe to the temple launched by our quick thinking and great shoe kicking Agent X. Our trio them makes good their escape from the tables.
Abez- Turn the death ray on their main computer banks. It will wipe out their data base of SSGM mailing lists. It will take them years to recover the lost data.
X-Brilliant. Oh Abez, you are truely a genius.
Abez-We can't have all the men in the world challenging the natural order of society. We women want our men to kill spiders, give us their paychecks and assemble furniture from Ikea.
The death ray is aimed and they run for saftey, but....... (Abez/Aniraz’s Momma)
The structural integrity of the secret FOPS base gave way under the laser’s blast and the ceiling came crashing down. And then all was silent.
A few hours passed, and then a few more. Just when Agent Usman was starting to wonder whether or not he should attempt to free himself from the debris, he heard footsteps come crunching towards him.
“Hello?” he said nervously, coughing a little on the plaster dust, “Is anyone there?”
He heard suspiciously familiar munching and squirmed to see where it was coming from. “Yaz!” he exclaimed happily, “How did you get here?”
“Hey,” Yaz said, “Look, I’m Agent Ar-Cee, remember? I’m here to rescue you. Everything ok?”
“Great!” Usman said sincerely, “First there was this death-ray thingie and then we were gonna get fried but then we escaped and then the laser went off and it was like whoa the ceiling collapsed and now there’s plaster dust in my nose...and hey, what are you eating, I’m starved.”
“Mission briefing,” Ar-Cee said. “You want one?”
“Not if eating it means that I accept the mission,” Usman said earnestly.
“Hey, where are Agent X and Abez?” Yaz asked.
“Oh!” Usman wailed, “Neither of them have made a sound…God, I hope they’re not…gulp…dead!”
Agent Ar-Cee picked her way carefully through the debris and made her way to Agent X’s table. She poked the plastered log carefully with a stick. Nothing happened. She poked harder, and then it sneezed.
“What’s the big idea!” Agent X exclaimed while trying to clear his nose of plaster dust, “I was sleeping here!” Yaz pulled away some of the debris that was pinning Agents X and Usman in place, and then directed her attention to the overturned table that Abez appeared to be trapped beneath.
“I don’t know about this,” Agent X-said, standing up and dusting himself off. “What if she’s dead? What if we lift the table and there’s nothing but squashy, ex-hijabi goo underneath…I feel sick…” (Abez)
Agents Usman and eX began sifting through the rubble as agent Ar-Cee went through another chocolate and french fry flavoured briefing. "At this rate.." agent Ar-Cee thought to herself, "I'll probably weigh a ton by the end of my Agent career.... which isnt soo bad, seeing as my work is all soo sweet". Ar-Cee's chain of thoughts was broken by a shadowy figure resembling Agent Abez standing in the doorway. "Abez, you're ok!!!" shreiked Agent eX as the trio turned to face the murky figure in the doorway. The silhouette stepped out of the shadows to reveal herself as Murali. "Gawd you have a knack for turning up at the wierdest times" Ar-Cee found she had blurted out her thoughts.
"How come you looked exactly like Agent Abez?" a puzzled Agent Usman inquired. "Are the rumours in AgentLand that you and Abez are one and the same true???" (This rumour had been going around for quite some time and had baffled many as to the true identity of Agents Abez and Murali)
"Pish tosh" replied Murali, "it's all nonesense what you hear!". On further queries from the trio Murali simply replied "I don't wanna say nuttin. No no no no no. You can't make me."
"Ewwwwwww" Agent Usman exclaimed with horror and the feeling of grossness you get when you see someone swallow a chipkali. "Whass this gooo under my shoes?". "Oh would you stop whining like a girl Usman!!!" roared Agent eX. "I was just trying to stay in character man!",Usman muttered. "I see some goo here too" chipped in Ar-Cee.
A strange voice called out in the dimly lit room "Would you blockheads shut up and get off my foot". The three agents froze in horror as they saw the liquid all come together right before their very eyes and morph into the form of Agent Abez... (Usman)
Hmmm, not a huge audience to the story but oh well... cant be helped. To those of you lovely people who wish to be included, I'd love to, but unfortunately this story was written a coupla months ago and I dont wanna edit it. Although having said that, there's nothing to stop us doing a continuation of the story seeing this one did basically continue from where an unsavoury character named Usman was caught trying to take over the world with his Icecream Island. (sorry to all who missed that). Anyways, on with the show!!
Agent Ar-Cee tapped twice on the super-small supercomputer located in the ear-piece concealed beneath her scarf. It made a quiet sound of electronic agreement (blip!) and began trying to triangulate the whereabouts of Agents X-Caliber, Usman, and Abez. She then sighed and ate four candy bars, none of which were actual candy bars, all of which were chocolate-covered mission briefings that failed to self-destruct after delivery.
Sometime after the last mission briefing had been licked, she received a quiet alert from the computer that the three missing agents had been located and their GPS coordinates were coming in. They appeared to be in London.
Ar-Cee (which had originally stood for R-C, Rebel-Child) threw her backpack over her shoulder and wondered idly whether or not she had time to pick up agent Cee-Bee (C-B, Choco-Bean) on the way to London, but it was 2 am Eastern Pacific time, and Cee-Bee might not be available at the moment. So Ar-Cee set off on her own.
(skip the direct flight to London and some action-adventure chase scenes in which Agent Ar-Cee skillfully eludes three FOPS on a pink vespa, and head directly to that scene where the bad guy reveals all his plans before trying to kill the captured secret Agents)
“Ha ha ha!” The head FOP laughed as he menacingly fingered the ‘on’ button for the giant death-ray that the three secret agents had been strapped beneath (on individual tables, of course). “I’ve got you now, and very soon you will all be fried. This will teach The Agency to mess with the FOPS of the SSGM! Mwahahaaa!”
“Oh nuts,” Abez muttered, shaking her head as best she could in the straps that held her down. “I knew I should never have agreed to inflatable muscles. I told them they were better off filled with chocolate pudding, but no one would listen to me.”
“Yes,” the head FOP sneered, “It was all given away rather nicely when you stepped on the toes of “De Caprio,” and he didn’t even squeal! A true girly man would have died if a 250-lb Austrian squashed their toes! Tee hee!”
“Don’t worry Abez, it’s not your fault we’re all about to die a grisly death. I forgive you.” Usman said.
“Yeah, me too,” X-Caliber sniffed, “And if we don’t get through this, I want you both to know that…sniff…I’ll never forget you guys!”
“And I want you guys to know,” Abez said tearily, “That you guys kept really interesting blogs…”
“And I want you guys to know,” Usman bawled, “That the straps on this table-of-doom are way too tight and I can’t feel my knees!”
“Ah,” the head FOP said, wiping his eyes. “Mascara gets in your eye sometimes. Well, back to frying you guys…one…two…R (Abez)
Wait, I'm getting an important call, excuse gentlemen. The EvilFOB powers down the death ray and steps out of the room. Without wasting a second our trio spring (figurtively) into action.
Phhhst. Abez deflates her inflatable muscle implants. Hey guys, I can move my arms.
Grab my man-lipstick says Agent Usman, it's in my shirt pocket.
I've got it whipers Abez.
Usman- Quick,shine it onto my arms straps. Buzzzzz-sizzle-pop. With one hand free, Agent Usman releases his other straps and is about to release his team when EvilFob returns!!!
Evil- What, you fools think you can get awa...
He is cut short by a Pakistani Throwing shoe to the temple launched by our quick thinking and great shoe kicking Agent X. Our trio them makes good their escape from the tables.
Abez- Turn the death ray on their main computer banks. It will wipe out their data base of SSGM mailing lists. It will take them years to recover the lost data.
X-Brilliant. Oh Abez, you are truely a genius.
Abez-We can't have all the men in the world challenging the natural order of society. We women want our men to kill spiders, give us their paychecks and assemble furniture from Ikea.
The death ray is aimed and they run for saftey, but....... (Abez/Aniraz’s Momma)
The structural integrity of the secret FOPS base gave way under the laser’s blast and the ceiling came crashing down. And then all was silent.
A few hours passed, and then a few more. Just when Agent Usman was starting to wonder whether or not he should attempt to free himself from the debris, he heard footsteps come crunching towards him.
“Hello?” he said nervously, coughing a little on the plaster dust, “Is anyone there?”
He heard suspiciously familiar munching and squirmed to see where it was coming from. “Yaz!” he exclaimed happily, “How did you get here?”
“Hey,” Yaz said, “Look, I’m Agent Ar-Cee, remember? I’m here to rescue you. Everything ok?”
“Great!” Usman said sincerely, “First there was this death-ray thingie and then we were gonna get fried but then we escaped and then the laser went off and it was like whoa the ceiling collapsed and now there’s plaster dust in my nose...and hey, what are you eating, I’m starved.”
“Mission briefing,” Ar-Cee said. “You want one?”
“Not if eating it means that I accept the mission,” Usman said earnestly.
“Hey, where are Agent X and Abez?” Yaz asked.
“Oh!” Usman wailed, “Neither of them have made a sound…God, I hope they’re not…gulp…dead!”
Agent Ar-Cee picked her way carefully through the debris and made her way to Agent X’s table. She poked the plastered log carefully with a stick. Nothing happened. She poked harder, and then it sneezed.
“What’s the big idea!” Agent X exclaimed while trying to clear his nose of plaster dust, “I was sleeping here!” Yaz pulled away some of the debris that was pinning Agents X and Usman in place, and then directed her attention to the overturned table that Abez appeared to be trapped beneath.
“I don’t know about this,” Agent X-said, standing up and dusting himself off. “What if she’s dead? What if we lift the table and there’s nothing but squashy, ex-hijabi goo underneath…I feel sick…” (Abez)
Agents Usman and eX began sifting through the rubble as agent Ar-Cee went through another chocolate and french fry flavoured briefing. "At this rate.." agent Ar-Cee thought to herself, "I'll probably weigh a ton by the end of my Agent career.... which isnt soo bad, seeing as my work is all soo sweet". Ar-Cee's chain of thoughts was broken by a shadowy figure resembling Agent Abez standing in the doorway. "Abez, you're ok!!!" shreiked Agent eX as the trio turned to face the murky figure in the doorway. The silhouette stepped out of the shadows to reveal herself as Murali. "Gawd you have a knack for turning up at the wierdest times" Ar-Cee found she had blurted out her thoughts.
"How come you looked exactly like Agent Abez?" a puzzled Agent Usman inquired. "Are the rumours in AgentLand that you and Abez are one and the same true???" (This rumour had been going around for quite some time and had baffled many as to the true identity of Agents Abez and Murali)
"Pish tosh" replied Murali, "it's all nonesense what you hear!". On further queries from the trio Murali simply replied "I don't wanna say nuttin. No no no no no. You can't make me."
"Ewwwwwww" Agent Usman exclaimed with horror and the feeling of grossness you get when you see someone swallow a chipkali. "Whass this gooo under my shoes?". "Oh would you stop whining like a girl Usman!!!" roared Agent eX. "I was just trying to stay in character man!",Usman muttered. "I see some goo here too" chipped in Ar-Cee.
A strange voice called out in the dimly lit room "Would you blockheads shut up and get off my foot". The three agents froze in horror as they saw the liquid all come together right before their very eyes and morph into the form of Agent Abez... (Usman)
Comments
Post a Comment