This could happen to you!

(Warning : This is a LOOOOOOOOOONG post. Readers not used to long posts from me are recommended to sit down with soda and chips to enjoy this one.)

Ok, maybe the bit in the title isnt that likely to happen seeing as not many of you live in Saudi Arabia or indeed are old enough to drive (or some of you who are but shouldnt be!! LOL, I was juss kiddin there. Yeah so anyways, I was just reminded of this little errm... incident back in Saudi Arabia around... (gosh its been over 6 years now.. how time flies). Let me put this into a proper perspective.

I began driving at the age of 14 (without a license ofcourse) back in Saudi Arabia. So if anyone is really crap at maths like I am, it would take them somethign like half an hour to figure out I've been driving for 10 years now. I only got my license last year. Before that, I've driven in Saudi, Pakistan and cyprus... but never with a license. Again, to put this story into better context, when I'd been driving in Saudi, I'd go all over the place... going off to meet friends (obviously I had a spare key to dad's car which he didnt know about). Rental cars were a rage at one point back home, which I believe they still are. I wasnt really into the paying tons of money to drive a car for a day and then give it back, so I did the next best thing... let me friends hire the cars and I'd juss drive 'em (pretty slick huh?). The furthest I ever went was a drive from Jeddah to Makkah, which is about 75kilometers. Miles I think it works out to around 50 or something. This drive was in a very slick Lexus GS300 (god bless friends with expensive tastes) with the most awesome sound system I had heard in a long time. I've drive a wide variety of cars and .... see... I'm going off topic again.. you people are supposed to warn me!!!

Anyways, now I left Saudi in October of '97 to go to Cyprus, October 21st to be exact. On the 1st of October (if memory serves me right), the incident occured. I basically picked up a friend who lived near my place, so we could go and get some stuff I needed for when I went to Cyprus. Fair enough... the place was just a 5 min drive away. As soon as I turn the corner to where the store was, there's a coupla cops waiting right there. They pull me over, ask for my license and KACHING!! Busted... *groan*. So, I'm thrown in the back of a pretty constricted Toyota Land Cruiser and taken to the local Traffic police office (which I used to walk by when we went to play b-ball). Anyways, I wait around for 10 min in the waiting room before we're asked to empty our pockets for cigarettes and lighters. Everyone duly complied and then we were all told to get into a cell. Now before y'all start gaspin' or nothing, this "cell" was actually a pretty big room (well enough to accomodate like 30 people with ease) which was neatly painted, properly carpeted and airconditioned too.

So everyone sits down and people start chatting cuz they know they aint going anywhere till the next evening. (we all got pulled in just after Maghrib so no chance getting out before Maghrib the next day.. ) Everyone was talkin about how they got pulled over wrong (or how they THOUGHT they got pulled over wrong... I knew more traffic laws then them and I wasnt even licensed to drive.. dimwits!!) So then someone goes to me whacha do.. I'm like I got caught without a license... and everyone sorta juss stopped and stared (I didnt exactly look 17 when i was 17..more like 21). And from then on till the next evening, I was the imaginative nick of "bidoon rukhsa" (loosely translated that means "without license"). I got to know quite a few of the guys.. everyone was cool.. joking around having fun and all... So yes, there I am, Mr. Bidoon Rukhsa, sitting there with a coupla desi guys chatting away when suddenly there's a guy walkin past the cell door (which looked like a real cell door with the metal bars and all). The guy is pushing a trolley which has the logo of a local bar-B-que place on it.. I'm thinking whats going on... turns out, you buy the food you wanna eat. I had me some real nice chicken in some mint sauce and rice... yummmmmmmmm. (if anyone's wondering why my dad hasnt shown up till now, its cuz him and me uncle who tried to come in werent allowed to come in to see his jailbird son till the next morning). At nite, this bengali guy who was a cleaner at the station came up, asked if people needed cigarettes to which quite a few people said yes... he went out.. got some in and everyone paid him for some... errr... *the rest of this paragraph has been censored to protect the guilty*

After that people started telling some errr rude jokes (which thankfully i dont remember now). What I do remember is after a while, people picked up empty water bottles and started doing some traditional Saudi dances... which are usually done with swords, but due to the lack of swords, the bottles were used. At some point or the other just about everyone dozed off. Around 4 o clock, some guy woke up and started tryin to wake everyone up sayin' its Fajr time, at which point he was nailed on the noggin by some other guy who (somewhat rudely) told him Fajr wasnt for another hour and a half. I barely had my eyes open but when I saw that I had to suppress the laughter so bad, I could've wet that whole cell... errm.. room. Needless to say we all got up for Fajr and everything. In the morning, one of the desi guys I was sitting with, bought us all sandwiches for breakfast (again a guy rollin a cart by) and those were finger lickin good. After breakfast, I'm sitting there talkin to the guys when someone taps me shoulder and says someone's calling you. I turn around to see my uncle and dad standing at the door all concerned and stuff. They're all like you ok and stuff.. I'm like yeah.. they're like no probs or nothing..I'm like nope.. They tell me its a 150 bux fine I'l have to pay when I get out (which is the standard anyway and I knew that, and had on me too but I didnt say). So they handed me the dosh and left cuz they wouldnt let me out even though I was a kid and hadnt done anything horribly wrong.

Come 5 o clock everyone was called outta the cell into an office where everyone got their licences back, paid their fines and left. I was in the beginning of the line but was asked to wait at the back cuz of my 'exceptional circumstances'. Anyways, I finally get to the counter and the guy in uniform goes it's a 300 bux fine. I'm thinking to myself that cant be right!!? I juss give him a look... and sometime during this process this other guy who was on the phone (not in uniform but looked like some sorta higher up kinda guy) saw my expression. He comes over and looks on the table at the form being filled out for 150 bux but with fine vouchers to the amount of 300(they had some sorta vouchers for fines which were equivalent to 150 bux each). The guy asks the guy in uniform what he's trying to do and goes dont you have any fear of Allah??? The guy makes a face, puts away one of the vouchers, goes I'm letting you off this time cuz you're young(at which point I was ofcourse thinking of him in much more colorful language).

I get out to see a coupla friends waiting there for me. I walk back home with them and get the LOOOOOOOONGEST lecture I could remember tilll that point. Bear in mind mom and dad only discovered about me getting arrested and having an extra pair of car keys when my friend who was with me in the car got home and told 'em. For some reason they didnt say anything to him, even though I gave him the keys in front of the cops, he got in the car in front of them and drove off (he didnt have a license either). Weirdness

Anyways, I dont think I had the heart to tell my parents I wouldnt mind doing it every now and then if it wasnt for the 150 bux. Moral of story... dont drive without a license kiddies! (stupid moral for a long story huh??)

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Shabba dont rank