Randomly

Its been an eventful year of sorts. Lots has happenned... lots has changed... and where I dont want to dwell on what has gone by, it is certain that its the events you live through that shape you as the person you become. See where I wouldnt like this post to be going down the path it is, I feel no other way to express what I feel right now. Guess its the sort of person I have become. One thing I have noticed and so have a lot of other people is, that I've become a lot more of a cynic. I've become harsh... my patience, which I considered to stretch a fair bit, is now nowhere near what it used to be. I've become more of a recluse... or in simpler words, have no life. I've lost touch with people I used to be really close to. Those who i am still in contact with say I am not the same person I used to be. Guess life does change us all. Its an ever changing process and I think I've decided I dont want to change and where the change does come in, it is met with adversity.

Ramadan has not been paid its proper due. Where I should have strived to better myself, I have seen no changes. Cant say I've made the best of this opportunity that I've been presented. Dont know where I'm heading now.

So what has prompted me to blog ? Well I was going through my inbox clearing out the junk and I saw a lot of emails which had had an affect on me. Emails from friends and family, from blogistanis, from relatives. They covered all the different points in my life. I re-read the emails from last year just about this time when dad passed away. How people I never even used to talk (or in blogistan) never even read their blogs etc emailed me. How before that people used to share with me, how I shared with them, tried to be there for them. Tried to help. Emails from people who read my blog and found it funny/interesting. Emails from people asking for help, emails from people just catching up. Emails from people about work, business, life, friendship and everything in between. Reading all those I realized how much I have changed and how its time I tried to change again.

If nothing else, I think the time is now to embrace the change. How well I fare is another matter, but its high time I tried. If anyone is still reading... your duas would be appreciated.

P.S. this post comes as a result of random thoughts/actions/fellings and a promise made which was long overdue to be kept!

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