I need a few Laffs... here they are!!! (yup i'm too lazee to blog right now)
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I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.
Half the people you know are below average.
99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so
good.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets
the cheese.
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously
overlooked something.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be
lazy.
Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.
I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you
tried.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you
need it.
The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness
of the bread.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from
many is research.
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
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I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.
Half the people you know are below average.
99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
42.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so
good.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.
The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets
the cheese.
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met.
If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously
overlooked something.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be
lazy.
Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.
I intend to live forever - so far, so good.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you
tried.
Experience is something you don't get until just after you
need it.
The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness
of the bread.
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from
many is research.
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.
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